It's not me. Well, maybe it's me, but it's definitely also you.
You know you have felt it. That negative energy in the space between you and that buddy that is just intent on bringing you down with them. On making you "step up" or "join in". Beer pressure, peer pressure, cheer pressure, you are bound to get pulled in and you do. Every flipping time.
So how do you say "bu-bye" without risking exclusion or insult?
I know, I know what your thinking... The only thing that's easy about 'just saying NO', is saying it. But doing it, is another whole thing entirely! Follow the 13 rules of NO below and I'm sure you'll find that saying NO, really isn't so hard!
ONE: Exit stage left! Time to leave the situation... This is time to make your exit.
TWO: Partner UP. Team up with someone else who believes as you do and then you guys can back each other up
THREE: Face to Face- find a time to speak one on one with the leader of the pack, without any interference from the rest of the group. Catch them when they are alone and explain to them why you feel the way you do and ask them politely to just drop it.
FOUR: Think and plan ahead. Know what's going on before you get there. If you can avoid these situations, in the first place, then you can make other plans. For instance, if you know they're going to be alcohol or drugs at a party or maybe someone is looking forward to spending some alone time with you and you don't feel like having to deal with it (or atleast not wanting the subsequent regrets), the best way to handle this, is not to be there in the first place.
FIVE: Take a stand! Look them straight in the eye and say "NO", like you mean it. Say it with authority, like nobody's going to tell you what to do. The more certain you are with your answer, the more people are going to take you seriously and hopefully get a clue.
SIX: Repeat! Don't be afraid to tell them NO over and over again.
SEVEN: Practice makes perfect! There will be manytimes in life when you'll have to say NO. It will be in your best interest if you start learning how to say NO, now! Try it at home. Like when your brother or sister asks you to clean up their room for them. Now how hard is it to say NO to that?
EIGHT: Think about the alternative. Really think it through. What are the consequences if you actually partake in these negative behaviors. This is called "playing the tape forward". What happens next? And after that?
NINE: Use your brain! Don't believe the hype. Don't assume that everyone's doing it.
Seriously, everyone's NOT doing it. And even if they are, do you want to be a statistic?
TEN: Be your own best friend. Don't forget that you are your best source of encouragement and strength. There's nothing wrong with reminding yourself every once in a while how special you are and that you have the strength to say NO to negative behaviors and influences.
ELEVEN: Watch out for yourself! Did you know that your moods can affect your decision making? Do a self check and make sure that you know what you're capable of and know that you have what it takes to say NO. In the end, the one person you can guarantee will be there always is you. You're stuck with you. So look out for your own best interests and get to know yourself better.
TWELVE: Constantly evaluate the situations you put yourself in and your friendships. Always remember that true friends like you for who you are, not who they want you to be.
THIRTEEN: Hit the road jack! Maybe it's time to find new friends.
If you've decided that your friends don't have your best interests at heart, find new friends who share your values and interests.
Remember that you are important. Your life counts, you have value, and you make a difference. If you ever need to talk about this or anything else, feel free to reach out. We're here for you.
For more information and to get the help you need now, contact applied tx for a free assessment. Give us a call today, 888-583-0002